Toolkit 4: After Your Parent Dies

Toolkit 4: After Your Parent Dies

$55.00
$55.00
Taxes included.

A practical and compassionate digital guide (50+ pages) for the first hours, days and weeks after a parent dies. This toolkit helps you work out what needs to happen soon, what can wait, who may need to be contacted, and how to support yourself and your family through what comes next.

Digital Download

Read on screen or print selected pages

The first hours, days and weeks after a parent dies; early admin; practical next steps; family communication; supporting children, teenagers and family; grief support prompts

Adult children caring for, supporting or starting to worry about an ageing parent

After a death, even simple things can feel hard to hold.

When your parent dies, there can be a strange mix of grief, shock, relief, sadness, love, admin, family messages, practical decisions and things that suddenly need doing.

You may be trying to contact people, understand what happens next, support children or teenagers, make decisions, manage family dynamics, and respond to questions - while also trying to process what has happened yourself.

Toolkit 4 is designed to give you a steadier place to start. It helps you sort what needs attention soon, what can wait, and how to move through the first days and weeks without having to keep everything in your head.

This guide is for you if…

You may find this toolkit helpful if:

  • your parent has died, or death is very near, and you are trying to understand what may happen next
  • you are in the first hours, days, or weeks after a death
  • you are unsure what needs to happen first and what can wait
  • you are managing calls, messages, decisions, paperwork, or practical arrangements
  • you are supporting children, teenagers, siblings, a partner, or extended family through grief
  • you are feeling overwhelmed by the mix of emotion and admin
  • you want a calm, practical guide you can come back to when your brain feels full
 

What this toolkit helps you do.

This guide is designed to help you:

  • work out what may need to happen in the first hours, days and weeks
  • separate urgent tasks from things that can wait
  • keep track of people, organisations and services that may need to be contacted
  • prepare for conversations with family, friends, children, and teenagers
  • manage the early admin without trying to remember everything at once
  • think about grief, family dynamics, memory-making, and support
  • notice when you or someone close to you may need extra help
 

What’s inside the guide.

Toolkit 4 includes practical guidance, checklists, prompts and templates to help you move through the early days and weeks after a death with more structure and support.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • First steps guidance to help you understand what may need attention soon after a death.
  • Practical checklists to help you keep track of contacts, documents, services, arrangements, and next steps.
  • “What can wait” support to help reduce the pressure to do everything immediately.
  • Conversation prompts for speaking with siblings, children, teenagers, extended family, and others close to your parent.
  • Family support tools to help you think about grief, memory, connection, boundaries, and the different ways people may respond.
  • Prompts to help you notice what you are carrying, what support you may need, and what might help you move through the next stage with care.

Give me the details.

This toolkit includes:

  • First hours checklist
  • Where they died notes
  • Funeral planning notes
  • Document tracker
  • Who-to-notify checklist
  • Home and belongings checklist
  • Executor handover notes
  • Family grief support plan
  • Supporting children and young people guidance
  • Relief and grief reflection
  • Helpful contacts and next steps

You do not have to doeverything at once.

After a death, it can feel like there are suddenly a hundred things to do — and no clear order to do them in. This toolkit helps you slow the swirl. It gives you a practical way to see what needs attention, what can wait, and what support may be needed around you.

It will not take away the grief, but it can help make the early days feel a little less chaotic and a little less lonely.

From Lucy

"After a death, grief and admin can arrive at the same time. I remember how hard it was to think clearly while also trying to tell people, make decisions and understand what needed to happen next.

This guide gives you a steadier place to start, so everything does not have to live in your head at once."

Use it wherever you are.

This toolkit is a digital download, designed to be used wherever you are and however you need it.

You can read it on your phone when a worry comes up, open it on your laptop before a family conversation, save it for later, or print the pages that are useful to you.

Use the full guide from start to finish, or come back to the checklist, prompt or template you need in the moment.

Want support across the full journey?

This toolkit is designed for the first days and weeks after a parent dies. If you would also like support for earlier stages - including increasing care needs, family conversations or preparing when time may be limited - the complete bundle includes all four Caring from the Middle toolkits.

View the complete bundle

Helpful free resource.

If your parent has died and you are trying to work out what needs to happen first, this free starter resource can give you a steadier place to begin.

Get the free first-hours guide
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Frequently asked questions

No. It is especially useful in the first hours, days and weeks, but you can come back to it later when you need help with admin, family communication, grief support or practical next steps.

No. This guide provides practical support and prompts, but it does not replace legal, financial, medical or professional advice. Requirements can vary depending on your location, circumstances and your parent’s arrangements.

Yes. The guide includes prompts to help you think about how to talk with children and teenagers, support them through grief, and notice signs they may need extra help.

Many families are. This guide includes prompts to help you prepare for conversations, clarify responsibilities, reduce confusion where possible, and think about boundaries during an emotional time.

Yes. Some people may find it useful to look at this guide before a death, especially if they want to understand what may need to happen afterwards. If you are focused on preparing while your parent is still alive, Toolkit 3 may also be helpful.

Yes. This toolkit is a digital download. You can use it on screen, save it for later, or print the pages that are useful to you.

Practical support, not professional advice.

This guide is designed to help you organise your thoughts, prepare for conversations and take practical next steps.

It does not replace legal, medical, financial, health or care advice from qualified professionals.

If you are dealing with urgent health, safety, legal or financial matters, please seek appropriate professional support.

Give yourself a steadier place to start.

If your parent has died, this guide can help you work out what needs attention soon, what can wait, and how to support yourself and your family through the first days and weeks.

A practical, gentle, wonderful guide to help after the death of a loved one. Interspersed with Lucy’s own lived experiences it provided insight into what others have gone through and the tasks to be done so I didn’t feel quite so lost in unfamiliar terrain. I loved being able to read it in a safe place and at a safe time, doing what I wanted to when I felt able.
—  Sandy, Canberra ACT
My family kept putting off succession and contingency planning being overwhelmed by the complexity and where to start. Toolkit One broke it down by raising a number of questions and giving my family the ability to hold sensitive discussions and a place to start to ensure my parents' wishes are planned for and honoured.
—  Mark, Tamworth NSW
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